Jack Bauer Power Hour

What do you call 24 Star Kiefer Sutherland's Intense Workout Program?

Jack Bauer's Hour of Power.


Did you hear about Kiefer Sutherland's new radio show with a Big League Ball Player?

Jack Bauer and Joe Mauer's Sports Hour


Did you know Jack Bauer once made a show about hippies? It was called

Jack Bauer's Hour of Flower Power.


How does Jack Bauer like his bread?

Jack Bauer cooks with Rice Flour.


What do you call a quick Wetnap to the face?

a Jack Bauer Power Shower.


Did you hear about Jack Bauer's new show on Food Network? It's called

Jack Bauer's Sweet and Sour Chicken Hour.

I really need a life.

Why living in LA Rocks or Why April Might Reduce Me to Smiling Exhaustion

April figures to be the craziest month.

It just works out that there are no less than 5 awesome events I'm headed to this Month, starting tonight - with live appearances from people in comedy that I love. How awesome is living in the LA Area? Looking out my window and looking at this schedule...pretty freakin awesome.

First up, tonight, April 1st:
Reno 911! LIVE A Benefit for Planting Peace
As described on the site:

Appearing live The RENO 911! Deputies (Tom Lennon, Robert Ben Garant,
Kerri Kenney-Silver, Niecy Nash, Cedric Yarbrough, Joe Lo Truglio and Ian Roberts) Nick Swardson, Matt Besser,
Andy Daly, Dave Holmes, Rob Huebel, Nick Kroll, Paul Scheer, Chris Tallman, Matt Walsh, Rainn Wilson, PLUS A
SPECIAL SEASON 6 PREMIERE SCREENING.
Pretty awesome, a lot of my favorites appearing, especially excited
about Joe Lo who I have a strange mancrush on... :)

Observe and Report with Seth Rogen and Jody Hill Live in Santa Monica


April 7.

This is a sneak preview of Seth Rogen's new mall cop flick "Observe and Report" at the Aero Theater in Santa Monica which features a live appearance and Q&A by Seth Rogen himself( my double!) and Jody Hill, the director of this and previously, of "The Foot Fist Way." What else can I say but....SWEET. The Aero is an amazing place. They frequently have cool ass movies with Q&As from famous directors and actors in those movies. Among the people I've seen/met at the Aero... Mel Brooks, Dennis Hopper, Carl Reiner, Savage Steve, and many more...and now Mr. Rogen...Woot!

April 10.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Paley Center Panel Discussion with the Cast

Got these tickets before I booked the below, but still psyched. Sunny is one of my favorite shows ever, and getting to see the whole cast talk live about the show will be a treat.

April 18
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - The Nightman Cometh LIVE

Wow, this figures to be an even bigger treat- a live, two-night only performance of "The Nightman Cometh," the musical written for the final episode of last season. Need I say more? I dropped some bank to get these sold-out tix, but I'm sure it will be worth it!

April 26.
Unplugged & Unwigged - Spinal Tap and A Mighty Wind Live

Those three brilliant guys, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer and Michael McKean who were Spinal Tap and also the folk band in "A Mighty Wind" perform songs from both live, out of costumes. I love Spinal Tap (who doesn't?) though "A Mighty Wind" was not my favorite Guest movie by a long shot...still a cool concept - and great for my old ass who probably won't make it out to see Spinal Tap in full costume and moshing glory

What a month!

Home Roasting is Easy and Cool

Unroasted Green Coffee


So as my recent blog entry indicated, I've become something of a specialty coffee fanatic lately.

Well, recently I decided to take the leap from buying roasted beans to buying green beans and roasting them at home myself. Why would I do this?

1) Freshness. Beans start to decay in quality within 24 hours of roasting. Roasting your own beans thus gives you the maximum control over timing for freshness.

2) Flexibility. Roasting your own allows you to roast small quantities of beans at a time. If you feel like roasting more, depending on your device, this can be pretty easy. Small quantities ties into freshness - if you never roast more than 3 or 4 days worth of coffee at a time, you're unlikely to lose much on the flavor end of things. Another thing here is that you can switch between coffees quickly and easily because green coffee stores so well.

3) The Process and Ritual. Simply put, I find it geeky cool to watch green coffee go through the chemical reactions in roasting which transform it into something to brew 4 or more hours later. I really enjoy watching the beans slowly change color and expand. When I later grind and brew the beans there's an integration of process tantamount to ritual which makes me feel more connected to the coffee than I otherwise do. The only thing left to do is to grow and pick it myself. Well, don't think I haven't considered it, but its pretty hard to do properly outside of tropical climes.

4) The COST! Green coffee beans are, on average, half the price of roasted coffee. This can really add up fast. What's more, my roasting unit, the West End Poppery, cost me about $40 on ebay. The other components I am using, two colandors, a wooden spoon, an empty soup can, a fan, a spray bottle, and a small kitchen scale, cost me even less than that.

5) Time. Of course it takes longer to roast coffee than to get it preroasted, but the time investment is minimal really. It takes me under 10 minutes to do each batch, making doing it every three days or so, or at minimum, on the weekends, very practical, especially in light of the benefit.

So how come a lot more people don't do this?

Socialization. It wasn't more than 100 years ago that home roasting was extremely common. It took mass production of coffee and a concentrated advertising effort by mass producers to dissuade the public from roasting their own.

Also, I think a lot of people think its harder than it really is. Listen folks, if *I* can do it, anyone can. I'm the least handy, practical guy around. Really, you can't fuck this up too bad.

I highly recommend Ken Davids book on this subject Home Coffee Roasting: Romance and Revival. Below are pictures of the transformation the green coffee pictured above goes through during the roasting process, from unroasted to uberdark oilly roast. (I realize the pic is cutoff, click on it for full view).

Beyond Peets: My Palate's Magical Journey into the Specialty Coffee Realm (or the Joy of Inconvenience)

It's been awhile since I blogged, so some quick thoughts before my subject for the day:

1. Can someone please remind the Republican Party they lost the election? Obama has a mandate and is actually trying to work with you, the more you fight the worse you look. McCain even had the gall to propose his own stimulus plan. John, I know you're old, but did you forget so soon that you lost, and lost BIG? And tax cuts? Really? How do you even say this bullshit with a straight face?

2. A-rod lied, the Yanks died. Seriously, I don't really care much about this story but since I am a Yankees fan, I thought I should comment briefly. I've been listening to Joe Torre's new book via Audible lately, and am not far in, but am being reminded of why the Yanks were such a magical team from '96-2001. The big reason? Everyone played to win and didn't give a damn about individual stats. No one on those teams was ever a huge offensive star, they won because they played the right way. I hated the A-Rod trade from day dot. I loved Soriano and hated that we gave him up. No matter what you think about A-Rod, this steroids thing, along with Giambi's steroids probelms, is something of further a validation of the 96-01 teams--until Jeter admits using steroids that is. (I'm sure he didn't but, Jesus is anyone safe anymore?)

3. The NBA - its FAAAANTASTIC. Seriously. I am a huge fan of the NBA and grew up on Bird, Magic, and of course MJ. It took a long time for the game to recover from losing MJ, but I think we can finally say things are back on track. With five legitimate title contenders (four if Jameer Nelson's injury torpedoes the Magic season) - the game is back to a terrific excitement level. If you're not watching, you best start.

4. Got myself a Wii, and its is awesome, even if my Wii Fit Age is like 82.

Now on to the subject at hand.

Anyone who knows me at all knows I love coffee. I've been repeatedly called a coffee snob by Janessa, my friends, and just about everyone in my life. That's ok with me, in fact I kind of like it.

The truth is though, I wasn't really a coffee snob. At least not a serious one. Fortunately, that's changing.

A few years ago, a friend at work introduced me to three key ideas which awakened a love affair with coffee. First, he explained the importance of fresh grinding beans for each pot, probably still the #1 most important factor in obtaining quality coffee. Second, he introduced me to the French Press, or Plunger Pot, which I've used to this day to produce thicker coffee with more body and character. Third, he introduced me to Peets Coffee, a wonderful company from Berkeley that is credited as the "Godfather" of the Specialty Coffee Movement.

Peets is famous for extremely dark roasts of coffee. I soon discovered that I loved their coffee and became a "Peetnik" which meant I had a recurring order. All that I ordered were their French and Italian Roasts, pretty much every two weeks for the past few years. The coffee was always sent fresh from the roaster and since I ground it fresh and prepared it well the cup quality was always outstanding. I was so happy with this coffee that I stopped giving coffee much thought other than getting a quality burr grinder and a stainless steel french press (both of which are HIGHLY recommended!).

All this until, ironically, I happened to be at a Peets up in Berkeley in December. We were visiting the Bay Area to see Janessa's family for Christmas and spent some time up there visiting friends. We happened upon a Peet's coffee tasting on the street. Three french presses, three varieties of coffee and a whole new experience. I was entranced by the Major Dickasen's Blend, and ordered it for my next recurring order. It was fantastic. This got me thinking, what else was out there? My next order was a limited edition roast of Sumatra Blue Batak.

This was sublime coffee. I was blown away. The texture of this coffee was thick like the others, but the body was so much more complex. I could literally feel my tongue encased in the coffee, experienced the multiple sensations that the brew produced on my palate, and had a bit of an epiphany.

I had no idea just how sophisticated, subtle and savory coffee could be. What had I been missing by limiting myself to a "roast" and not exploring specialty beans and other roasts? As it turns out, a hell of a lot. I bought two wonderful books on Coffee from Amazon: The Joy of Coffee by Corby Kummer, and Coffee: A Guide to Buying, Brewing and Enjoying by Kenneth Davids. From these books I learned fascinating things about the history of the coffee bean, about all stages of the coffee process from growing to roasting, about the many varieties of coffee worldwide and about the qualities that typified certain regions.

Intrigued, I made a beeline to Terrior Coffees, a company run by George Howell, the owner and operator of Coffee Connection, a sort of East-Coast Peet's, who was extensively profiled in The Joy of Coffee. Howell was personal friends with the owner of a Costa Rican coffee estate called "La Minita" reputed to be one of the world's best coffees. I ordered 12 ounces of that coffee and paid as much for second day shipping as for the coffee itself (the better to be closer to roast date as possible!) - but it was worth it.

Unlike Peets, the roast was much more mild. The beans were smaller and were visibly different than the Peets beans I'd seen. The coffee itself was to date the best coffee I have ever had. Pure, light, sparkling but with body, an incredibly well-balanced drink that I cannot recommend enough to anyone who loves coffee.

Suffice it to say, I am presently in something of a "tasting tour," ordering coffees from all the world's major regions that are highly rated to establish a baseline for my palate. Yesterday I ordered Kona Coffee from Hawaii, from a company called Hula Daddy for a premium ($60 a pound!), and I'm targeting lots of other coffees for the months ahead.

I did receive one more order from Peets recently - a hugely expensive Jamaican Blue Mountain ($40 for a half pound). It is an incredible cup of coffee, but I was put off for the first few cups. The reason, I suspect, is the roast. Having never experienced the benefits of a quality roast other than Peets I did not know what I was missing. I finally understood some peoples' reactions to my coffee preferences. That said, after a mild adjustment period, it was back to tasting wonderful, and I am sure I will continue to order from Peets, though not on a Peetnik Recurring basis.

All of this has led me down some interesting paths. Obsessed with the purity of coffee fresh out of the roaster (the taste difference is astonishing) - I am shopping around for home roasters, and am planning on trying to roast some green coffee of my own soon. Even if I don't do it often, I feel that seeing the process will be fascinating and that I will learn a lot from it, so I'm excited.

So that's the first part of the title. What about the second part? The Joy of Inconvenience?

Simply put, the taste difference between freshly roasted, freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee from quality beans and the vast majority of coffee consumed in this country is almost immeasurable. Despite this fact, nearly everyone I talk to who enjoys coffee insists that grinding beans before brewing or using a french press is too time consuming to be worthwhile.

To be clear - I understand their perspective. I know that some people really are too busy to regularly go through the ritual I do prior to enjoying my morning coffee. Nevertheless, I feel confident that if more people took the time to find out what they are missing, they would somehow find time to get it done. I guess that's where the "snob" thing happens. The simple truth is, once you taste a cup of real coffee, you can't go back to the swill served in most establishments in this country, its really not an option, if the quality matters to you.

In any event, I strongly believe that my "lengthy" coffee ritual (start to finish maybe 7 minutes, tops, with another 3-5 to clean the pot) is well worth it because, as I have said, the flavor and character of the coffee is fundmentally superior to other methods. It's not even close. Another benefit of the ritual is that it makes the coffee drinking feel more important to my day, it helps me to appreciate the coffee and gives me a sense of order that I welcome.

Here's my main point. Things are too easy in this Country. Modern conveniences are amazing and I am by no means a luddite. Starbucks sets a floor for coffee quality, that while low compared to my standards, is still high compared to much of the country. The problem isn't the conveniences, its our attitude towards these conveniences. Things being easy means we don't have to think about them, they just are the way they are. There is a fundamental disconnect between process and product that benefits consumerism but hurts our critical thinking skills.

As long as we accept the way things are as right, we have neither the will nor momentum to make positive change, both in the world and in our individual lives. That deadening of our minds is certainly the intent of advertising and mass consumer culture, and while it is fantastic for business I fear that it is awful for democracy. Just because something is easy, doesn't mean it is right. Conversely, just because something is hard, doesn't mean it is right. The trick is to look at things critically and determine what's best for you. My contention is that people generally just accept what's easy for them to accept because they're lazy, whether it be bad coffee, beef (how many people who eat beef would do so if they had to kill every cow themselves? how many if they knew what was actually involved in the fucked-up beef industry, the torture and mistreatment of animals and intense contribution to climate change?), bad entertainment and shitty politics.

People are willfully ignorant, and their ignorance costs them their ability to enjoy the pleasures of life on a daily basis. It's sad. So, as a very small step in working out this problem I propose the joy of inconvenience: try the long way of doing something now and again, it might be better, it might not, but you'll never know until you investigate for yourself. Who knows, you may discover a whole new world of pleasure and sophistication you didn't even know existed, like I did. Or, at the very least, you will wake your mind up from its constant slumber for just a few minutes, which is better than nothing.

--Rob

One More Week till Sanity

Only one more week until BBO ends and ABO begins.

BBA? Before Barack Obama. You can guess the second one.

I am known for overstating things. My enthusiasm sometimes carries away my invective and I am prone to superlatives. This is a fault that I recognize and try to contain.

Sorry, not this time.

I do not believe it is an overstatement that this inauguration represents a turning point, not just in American History, but Human History. (Superlative enough?)

I plan to tell the next generation how we lived through the "dark times." How we endured the worst eight years in American history. How I lived during the seemingly "dark ages" of discrimination and injustice represented in Prop 8. And of how we survived.

President Bush likes to say that history will judge his administration, and I agree. I just don't think it will be in the way he imagines. I believe that his legacy will get worse with time, not better.

Beyond all the screw-ups, all the things we know they fucked up, like Iraq, the Economy, Katrina (should have been impeached for that one), wiretapping, etc etc etc, and the ones we don't know they fucked up, which will probably come out for years to come - stands the things the Bush administration did not do.

We just lost eight years. Eight years that could have been spent fighting global warming, preparing the economy for the shift to green fuels, building green infrastructure, investing in science and education and in our children. We can't ever get those eight years back. And that's the real tragedy.

Because time really is running out on this planet and on our species. Al Gore understated things, and many owe him a serious apology. The convergence of global warming, global overcrowding and the rise of the global middle class has, as Tom Friedman has pointed out, placed the world in crisis. We need bold leadership. Yesterday. Or we may not have much more time left.

That's reason #1 that I think Barack is such a big deal. He has the opportunity to lead at a time when leadership is needed more than ever. He has the respect of the international community at a time when international cooperation is crucial to the success of our species going forward. He has the charisma and personality to capture the imagination of the world, and remains living proof that anyone, no matter their upbringing, has the potential to be great.

This is a singular moment in human history, and Barack Obama will be the leader of the world during these next critical years. The decisions he makes will have profound consequences, not just for this generation but for the next hundred to come.

Reason #2 is because I believe he alone is up to this challenge. Finally, our country is putting our best and brightest in charge again and leaving the Sarah Palins of the world behind. Here's all you need to know about this man to realize just how great he really is. He's a black man in America, named Barack Obama, only 4 years after the second confirmation of W, and he defeated the strongest political machine perhaps in American history (the Clintons) when barely a year ago no one, not even the African-American community, believed in him.

I believe in Barack Obama.

I do not believe he is the messiah, or that he is perfect. I believe that he is the best man for the job. I have seen his character in the campaign, and he truly does represent change, not just because of his race, or the things he has said, but because of his sincerity. It has been a long time since an American politican truly inspired. It has been a long time coming to believe that those in charge truly are putting the interests of our country first. I believe this about Barack Obama.

Obama will make mistakes. There will be a learning period on the job. He will make gaffes, misstatements, even blunders. Of this, I have no doubt. Every President before him has. The difference? He will admit them. He will change course when he is wrong. He will respect the advice of more experienced people around him and seek to make the right decision irrespective of where that idea came from. That is what we need. That is what the world needs.

And that is why I am counting down to January 20th.

One last thing.

I will mourn the last eight years until Tuesday the 20th, but then I will celebrate and look forward. This is the most exciting time to be alive probably ever and this is the best country in the world to be living in right now. Yesterday, I finally mailed in my citizenship application, and I will be proud to be an American citizen. The future is now.

Do Mailmen Dream of Backwards Streets?

So I was thinking the other day...the life of a postal carrier sounds pretty good, for a mindless job. Just cruising around all day dropping mail off. It'd be especially nice in LA, where perfect weather would make that "rain, sleet, snow" crap pretty meaningless.

The only weird part about doing the mail thing is how the passenger side and driver's side are inverted. That's a little strange, but I guess no big deal. Still, it got me thinking.

I haven't been to London, but I imagine if I go it will be a bit tricky driving. I won't be used to the fact that they drive on the other side of the road. The fact, however, that the driver's side will be flipped, will make a bit of sense to me, its the passenger side that is the right direction in which to be driving both here and there, right?

But what if you're a mailman visiting London and you rent a car.

Now, instead of there being two strange things to deal with - driving on the other side of the road and sitting on the other side of the car to drive. There's only one, driving on the other side of the road. So is it easier? I postulate that it's harder. I think this is so because of the value of the symmetry between driver's side and side of the road. Once that symmetry is broken, it has to be very confusing for a postal worker.

So if you're a mailman planning a trip to London - get a designated driver. Oh, and stay the fuck away from roundabouts!

Black Friday (or why the unexamined life ain't worth shit)

Well, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Thanksgiving, as usual, was great. Most people think vegetarians don't like thanksgiving because they can't have turkey. That may be true for some of them, but I loveee thanksgiving because of "all the trimmings." This year Janessa made all I need in a good meal: mashed potatoes, yummy stuffing with cranberries, cranberry sauce, lima beans and biscuits. MMMM. Awesome. She's amazing, clearly I'm the winner in THIS marriage. :)

Tofurky? Not so much. As Janessa put it to me, why would a vegetarian want something that tastes like meat? I guess some are vegetarians for health reasons, but you would think you'd lose the taste for that stuff pretty quick. Lord knows, I have. But I guess I wasn't eating Tofurky all those years... Anyways, I never liked turkey even when I ate meat. So why start now?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. No, not just for the food (a plus), or the company (a ++), but because it seems like the only genuine, non-religious holiday left. It's true that thanksgiving started with the pilgrims giving thanks to God, but giving thanks is not confined to monotheism, thankfully. No, thanksgiving is, ideally, the day when people come together to break bread, share each other's companies, and reflect on their lives and give thanks for however much or however little they have. That's a pretty positive message especially when juxtaposed against the other big nonreligious holiday - Christmas. Black Friday? Yea, I read today that a Walmart employee was KILLED when shoppers rushed into a store and trampled on him. Now THAT's a holiday.

Anyway, taking time to reflect on things is an activity criminally underutilized in this world. The mindless zombie consumer stuff really proves the old saying that the unexamined life just ain't worth shit.

Anything that shakes people up for even a few moments is a good thing, in my opinion. Last night we watched a film called What Would Jesus Buy, all about a man named Reverend Billy and the Stop Shopping Church Choir, who traveled cross-country last year doing activist events against consumerism in places like Starbucks in California, the Wal-Mart headquarters in Arkansas, and Mall of America in Minnesota. Fantastic stuff. Reverend Billy looks like a southern preacher and acts like it in a kind-of pitch-perfect impression complete with grunting and flailing.

Finally, a religion worth joining.

The best part about this kind of thing is that it breaks up the routines people go through. They never question a thing about where the products they buy come from - and this type of thing wakes them up from their slumber, even if just for a second, and that's invaluable.

I think the corporate economy benefits enormously from mindless behavior. Indeed, I think it actively exploits American potential to mindlessly behave and that television and mass-entertainment are major pieces of the blinders we've all started to wear. Look straight ahead for good, clean value and ignore that evil, peripheral vision. Things are black and white, not gray, and we've got all three on sale now in the menswear section.

All of these distractions successfully train us to be a good corporate citizen. We get fat because we never stop to think about what we are eating and because we eat too much, both because we're distracted (watching TV while we eat) and because marketers know how to assist this behavior. We don't exercise much because we're too busy with TV, flicks, video games, and cell phones. And that's what they want, good, passive, fat people. There aren't many better people to buy useless shit than passive, fat people.

I know none of this is news to thinking people, and that none of it is really original, but that doesn't mean it's not true, and that doesn't mean its not a problem. The Bush Administration really accelerated this dumbing down of America, of course, with its disgusting emphasis on consumerism (patriotism is spending more money than you have! a Patriot is a big SUV! No metaphor there. [or truth]).

To name a guz-guzzling overwrought SUV piece-of-shit the "Patriot" is something that defies satire. The "Patriot" is a living expression of American retardation.

I'm hopeful that an Obama administration will change this direction, however it won't do it all, there needs to be an effort on the part of people to change their lives if this economy or this world is going to get on the right track again. I'm not saying that television and movies are bad and not worth watching, necessarily. But it's like alcohol - some people can handle it responsibly and some can't. It doesn't mean you should regulate it, but it does mean people need to be REMINDED to THINK now and again. Or even that THINKING is good, a controversial idea in recent days.

Although the media and corporate culture take advantage of and reinforce passivity, they don't wholly create it (though they are advertising to younger and younger kids, which is, in itself, disturbing). Schools and parents (ignorance should not be an inherited characteristic) have a lot to do with this.

We really need an entirely new model for education, one that focuses not on retention but on understanding. Law Schools teach the type of thinking I'm talking about - CRITICAL thinking - and without it, we are doomed and lost to wander from Starbucks to Starbucks. Critical thinking is the perfect example of that old truism: "teach a man to fish." That's what it's really all about, and I strongly believe critical thinking skills should be a major part of the curriciulum from the beginning of school onward.

I was fortunate enough to gain some of these because I was in gifted in elementary school and my gifted program focused on critical thinking skills. What wonderful luck! I want everyone else to be so fortunate.

In any case, despite all the things I learned in Gifted, it was a loooong time ago, and there are still plenty of important things that I did not or could not have learned back then that I wish I could have learned in school. Strangely, most of these skills and thinking models have come to me in the past few years. Even more strangely, they've come, in my opinion, as a direct result of my intense participation in no limit texas hold'em tournaments, primarily online.

What particular skills and attributes am I thinking of? Here's an incomplete list:

Simple and domplex decisionmaking & problem solving, when to use either and which variables to apply in both
Patience/calm and centeredness
Long-term perspective/keeping ego in check
Planning and thinking ahead
Thinking on your feet
The critical nature of observation and of paying attention in general
Pattern-recognition and exploitation
The value of assertiveness
The value of position
Understanding how different people think and what their motivations may be
Discipline.

to name a few.

I'm not an expert by any means, I'm an amateur, but I'm a profitable one, and I've played in well over 10,000 tournaments online, which is a drop in the bucket for many people, but enough that I feel I understand the above values. I'm going to address each of these (and whatever else comes to me) in turn in coming blogs.

My hope is to articulate the value of the particular knowledge and show how each skill is a vital part of the toolbox of any critical thinker. I will give examples of how each skill has enabled me to make better choices in my daily life, in a variety of aspects, from interpersonal relationships to self-restraint to attitudes toward daily stressers. In the end, I will make a case that a poker curriculum would be a powerful and effective way to improve elementary and secondary education and develop better, more-informed citizens, less prone to running over customers to get that $700 plasma.

-Rob