This post was written for a Facebook group doing a look back at s8:
“Last Christmas”
Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Paul Wilmshurst
A review by Rob Brayer
----------------------
As the credits began to roll on “Death in Heaven”, a strange mixture of satisfaction and melancholy came over me. The ending was much like the series preceding it: strange, tortured, and beautiful. Both the Doctor and Clara find themselves lying to each other in hopes that these lies will lead their counterpart to live happily without the other. The Doctor hasn’t found Gallifrey. Danny Pink is still dead. But at least, each thinks, a lie will lead the other to go on with their life.
And then there is collapse. The credits collapse. The narrative collapses. A loud knock forces its way through both the credits and the Doctor’s weary rest. It can’t end like this. Santa Claus won’t allow it! He’s been meaning to check in on the Doctor for a while. Christmas means happy endings, so it is Christmas that will save the Doctor.
From a character perspective, “Last Christmas” is really the third part of the finale, though it stands on its own as the finest Christmas special since “A Christmas Carol” and possibly of the new series. The special is a tour de force. It unabashedly combines the puzzle box structure Moffat loves with the genre collision he has so uniquely perfected, going so far as to actually name its own influences. Equally though, as with the best Moffat scripts, these elements are window dressing for the real emphasis of the story: its emotional core.
Because although the story is ostensibly about dreaming, it is, at a thematic level, about the need to escape delusion and accept reality. Early in the episode, the Doctor and Clara find themselves in a literal base under siege at the North Pole under attack from a classic Moffat monster: a telepathic creature attracted only to mental images of itself. The only way to escape seems to be to shut out all such thoughts. With Clara struggling, the Doctor tries to force her attention onto the suggested image of Danny Pink cheating on her. The Doctor, of course, believes Danny to be alive, and does not realize how gut-wrenching his words really are. Instead of saving Clara, he enrages her. They come clean to each other. No Danny, no Gallifrey. The truth is revealed.
Later, Clara awakes in a dream on Christmas morning to find Danny at her bed urging her downstairs to celebrate the holiday. Everything about the domestic scene is perfect. It is Christmas. They are together. They are happy. But when Clara steps outside of her room she faces a chalkboard warning her that she is dying. Clara tries to ignore this message. Every time she erases the warning it comes back immediately. More chalkboards spring up, but Clara is not moved. She has Danny back and that is all that matters. Only when the Doctor puts his own life at risk and steps into the dream does he persuade her to accept reality. Even then, it takes imaginary-Danny’s confession that he is not real to move Clara to action. Danny’s final message to Clara is the perfect thesis for this episode:
The reason loved ones gather at Christmas is to appreciate what they have in the moment, to live in the present, because the future is uncertain, and any Christmas could be the last that people spend together. Thus, Clara receives a rare and priceless Christmas gift: a final Christmas with Danny. She gets closure. Most important, though, is Danny’s exhortation that Clara must move on, live in the present, and literally let go of Danny in order to live her life. She does. She lives. She moves forward (the only real form of time travel, even in dreams).
Escaping delusion drives not only the themes of the story but also the action, as the characters are caught in a series of dreams within dreams that threaten their lives. What ultimately saves all but one poor soul is the will to pierce their shared delusion and return to their normal lives.
This is not to say that the story condemns fantasy. In fact, it embraces it, giving the dreamers a unique guardian angel: Santa Claus himself. Santa plays a key part in assisting the dreamers in discovering the nature of their predicament. His inexplicable rescue of the dreamers early in the story ultimately triggers the Doctor’s realization that the occupants of the base are trapped in a dream. Similarly, Clara’s observation that Santa had appeared to the Doctor and Clara before they arrived at the base prompts the Doctor to realize that the dreamers remain stuck in yet another dream.
But this is not the only role that Santa plays. Instead, he takes on the role of the Doctor, saving the day. Even the Doctor must turn to Santa twice in the end. First, when ghostly versions of all the dreamers converge on them, and yet again when the Doctor’s relationship with Clara seems to be at a close.
Perhaps this is not as surprising as it might seem. As two of our greatest stories, Santa and the Doctor have much in common. Santa and the Doctor both seem to move effortlessly in and out of the story world as needed, but always save the day in the end. And, when broken down, the core characteristics of Santa and the Doctor are equally, mystically absurd. Santa captains a sleigh propelled by flying reindeer to deliver presents to millions of children in a single night. The Doctor is a traveler in a small blue box which is bigger on the inside that regularly changes his face and interlopes through time and space and lives and genres. Both figures pervade our fondest dreams; it is no accident that Clara explicitly equates them.
Thus, the underlying message of “Last Christmas” is not only that we must face reality, but that we need not do so alone. We are armed with our dreams, our myths, our symbols, and our stories. And, while they are not physically real, their meaning is imbued with the power to summon our higher selves and to defeat our deadliest monsters.
But the story is not yet complete. First, we get a lovely “farewell” scene between the Doctor and Clara. The Doctor races to Clara only to find that he is 60 years too late. Clara’s whole life has gone by in the space of a few seconds. The Doctor has, as he did with Amy, come far later than he had planned. The scene is an elegant echo of Clara’s final scenes with 11. Like 11, Clara is aged but at peace. It is now Clara that lacks the strength to open a Christmas cracker. It is now the Doctor that returns the favor and opens the cracker. And, like 11, just when it appears the story is over, Clara “regenerates” back into herself, as she and the Doctor awake from the final layer of their shared dream and, renewed, charge forward into the future. Where will they go?
It’s a long story.
Random thoughts that don’t fit anywhere else
• Nick Frost was born to play this part. He absolutely kills it, more than justifying his opening credit status. By my count, he’s the 3rd “Spaced” alum to grace Who.
• Shona was awesome. Her dance scene was delightful. I still hold out hope she might become a companion one day.
• Shona’s itinerary clearly helps to shape the dream, including Miracle on 34th Street, Alien, and The Thing from Another World. It’s too bad she didn’t get around to that Thrones Marathon.
• Even though he ate it, it’s great that Michael Troughton finally got to appear on the program.
• It’s also nice to see Dan Starkey out of costume. Also, comedy elves.
• The Doctor thinks age-appropriate women are sexy. Great detail.
• Santa‘s sled is bigger on the inside, because of course it is.
• The elation on Capaldi’s face when he flies the sleigh is contagious. What a pleasure to finally see 12 beam so joyously.
• The very end of the story was a last-minute rewrite resulting from Jenna Coleman’s 11th-hour decision to stay on the show. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it would have been a great ending for Clara. On the other, I really like the parallel it draws to 11’s regeneration.
• The very end of the story also raises some tough questions. Clara and the Doctor awoke a dream level further than the rest. Does this mean that all of the other dreamers weren’t real?
• Relatedly, that the Doctor wakes up in what appears to be the set from Clara’s volcano tantrum further confuses things, particularly as the volcano was, itself, a dream. What was he doing there? Is there another level to all of this? Is the entire 3-part finale a dream? I’m guessing the production team was just saving money on a set, but as this is Moffat, you can never rule out the possibility that this apparent loose end may become important at a later date.
So many quotes
• “Oh, sorry about this … girl? We, we are just three passing … perfectly ordinary … roof people, doing some emergency roof things.” – Santa
• Ian: Your mum and dad, one day a year, for no particular reason, just out of the blue, suddenly decide to give you a great, big pile of presents.
Wolf: No, no, no. Because they love you so much! It’s a lovely story, dear.
Ian: Yeah, but it’s time to start living in the real world, yeah?
• The Doctor: Happy Easter.
Wolf: Ooh, brutal!
Ian: Cool exit line, though.
• Ian: Shut your mouth, wise guy, or you get yours!
Wolf: It’s a balloon animal.
Ian: That’s a toy gun.
Wolf: Yeah, well, at least it’s unsuitable for children under four! Parts small enough to swallow, so watch out.
• Santa: I got three words, Shona. Don’t make me use ‘em.
Shona: What three words?
Santa: My. Little. Pony.
Shona: Shut up, you!
Santa: Yeah? I’ve got lots more, babe.
Shona: I will mark you, Santa!
• Shona: The North Pole isn’t an actual pole.
Ian: Of course it is. Look.
Shona: If it was an actual pole, it would not be stripy.
Wolf: It’s got to be stripy!
Ian: Otherwise, you couldn’t see it moving around.
Wolf: It’s actually basic physics.
• The Doctor: You know what the big problem is in telling fantasy and reality apart?
Ashley: What?
The Doctor: They're both ridiculous.
• “There's a horror movie named Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everybody keeps invading you.” – The Doctor
• “I didn’t die saving the world, Doctor, I died saving Clara. The rest of you just got lucky.” – Danny
• Shona: You’re a dream who’s trying to save us?
Santa: Shona, sweetheart, I’m Santa Claus. I think you just defined me!
• “All right. As the Doctor might say, ‘Aw, it’s all a bit dreamy-weamy!’” – Santa
• “No need for chatting, you’ll only get attached. This isn’t Facebook.” – The Doctor
• The Doctor: No one ever matched up to Danny, eh?
Clara: There was one other man, but that would never have worked out.
The Doctor: Why not?
Clara: He was impossible.
• Clara: Well, look at you, all happy. That’s rare.
The Doctor: Do you know what’s rarer? Second chances. I never get a second chance, so what happened this time? Don’t even know who to thank.
Overall, the story was even better on re-watch. With the details of the plot no longer as surprising, I was free to focus on the nuances of the story. This one really benefits from repeated viewing.
10/10. What do you guys think?
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Monday, May 26, 2014
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
"Ulysses," the poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson, has dramatically influenced my life since I first encountered it in high school. The tale of the epic hero made so familiar by both Homer and Dante is brought to vivid emotional life by Tennyson's examination of Ulysses' spirit of exploration, discovery, and unwavering will. Ulysses' unrelenting intellectual curiosity causes him to reject a settled life and constantly travel the world in search of new experiences, to "drink life to the lees . . . always roaming with a hungry heart" making Ulysses "a part of all that [he has] met." Most striking is Ulysses ardent desire to never stop learning more: "To follow knowledge like a sinking star, Beyond the utmost bound of human thought."
Even as Ulysses and his crew enter their old age, they see perceive no boundary to their quest for discovery. For they represent "that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven . . . Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will." Tennyson ends with the indelible line that has floated into my mind countless times since I first read "Ulysses" so many years ago: "To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." This is a trenchant motto for life which I have always endeavored to live.
Everything that I have achieved is the direct result of my indomitable will, passion for achievement, drive to keep moving forward, and unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Ulysses taught me the meaning of a heroic life: striving, seeking, finding, and never yielding. The spirit of these words has been absorbed in all aspects of my life. Read (or re-read) this brilliant work below:
It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Match’d with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
I cannot rest from travel: I will drink
Life to the lees: All times I have enjoy’d
Greatly, have suffer’d greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone, on shore, and when
Thro’ scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea: I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known; cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honour’d of them all;
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro’
Gleams that untravell’d world whose margin fades
For ever and forever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use!
As tho’ to breathe were life! Life piled on life
Were all too little, and of one to me
Little remains: but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three suns to store and hoard myself,
And this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.
This is my son, mine own Telemachus,
To whom I leave the sceptre and the isle,—
Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfil
This labour, by slow prudence to make mild
A rugged people, and thro’ soft degrees
Subdue them to the useful and the good.
Most blameless is he, centred in the sphere
Of common duties, decent not to fail
In offices of tenderness, and pay
Meet adoration to my household gods,
When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.
There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:
There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toil’d, and wrought, and thought with me—
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads—you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honour and his toil;
Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks:
The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
’Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Even as Ulysses and his crew enter their old age, they see perceive no boundary to their quest for discovery. For they represent "that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven . . . Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will." Tennyson ends with the indelible line that has floated into my mind countless times since I first read "Ulysses" so many years ago: "To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." This is a trenchant motto for life which I have always endeavored to live.
Everything that I have achieved is the direct result of my indomitable will, passion for achievement, drive to keep moving forward, and unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Ulysses taught me the meaning of a heroic life: striving, seeking, finding, and never yielding. The spirit of these words has been absorbed in all aspects of my life. Read (or re-read) this brilliant work below:
It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Match’d with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
I cannot rest from travel: I will drink
Life to the lees: All times I have enjoy’d
Greatly, have suffer’d greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone, on shore, and when
Thro’ scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea: I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known; cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honour’d of them all;
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro’
Gleams that untravell’d world whose margin fades
For ever and forever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use!
As tho’ to breathe were life! Life piled on life
Were all too little, and of one to me
Little remains: but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three suns to store and hoard myself,
And this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.
This is my son, mine own Telemachus,
To whom I leave the sceptre and the isle,—
Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfil
This labour, by slow prudence to make mild
A rugged people, and thro’ soft degrees
Subdue them to the useful and the good.
Most blameless is he, centred in the sphere
Of common duties, decent not to fail
In offices of tenderness, and pay
Meet adoration to my household gods,
When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.
There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:
There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toil’d, and wrought, and thought with me—
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads—you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honour and his toil;
Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks:
The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
’Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Friday, April 11, 2014
I'm (not) Disabled!
One of my all time favorite shows is The "IT Crowd" and one of its best-ever episodes contains the following scene:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDZzl9AyXeg
A few weeks back I was on a long cross-country flight. By the time I got off, I needed some "IPhone time" in the nearest bathroom quite badly. This particular airport bathroom was unusually small with only three stalls and a single urinal. Everything was in use except for the disabled stall. My need for relief was high, and having used the disabled stall in similar situations before, I simply went for it. I didn't think too much of it, though, admittedly Roy's "I'm disabled!" did pass through my mind for a moment. A few minutes went by and I was well on my way to alleviating my distress when, all of a sudden, wheelchair wheels rolled up under the stall door. There was a knock, and I then heard the following exchange:
A guy: I think someone's in there.
Wheelchair Guy: Yeah. I don't think he's disabled, though.
It took so much self-control not to yell out "I'm disabled...legs!" There was nothing I could do, I was at a point of no return on this adventure. I could only hope that he left and went to one of the 6,000 other bathrooms in this major international airport. Instead, he rolled his way into the non-disabled stall next to mine and attempted to use it with apparent great difficulty. Somewhat horrified, I finished, I washed my hands and got the hell out of there and didn't look back. Time to get the rental car.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDZzl9AyXeg
A few weeks back I was on a long cross-country flight. By the time I got off, I needed some "IPhone time" in the nearest bathroom quite badly. This particular airport bathroom was unusually small with only three stalls and a single urinal. Everything was in use except for the disabled stall. My need for relief was high, and having used the disabled stall in similar situations before, I simply went for it. I didn't think too much of it, though, admittedly Roy's "I'm disabled!" did pass through my mind for a moment. A few minutes went by and I was well on my way to alleviating my distress when, all of a sudden, wheelchair wheels rolled up under the stall door. There was a knock, and I then heard the following exchange:
A guy: I think someone's in there.
Wheelchair Guy: Yeah. I don't think he's disabled, though.
It took so much self-control not to yell out "I'm disabled...legs!" There was nothing I could do, I was at a point of no return on this adventure. I could only hope that he left and went to one of the 6,000 other bathrooms in this major international airport. Instead, he rolled his way into the non-disabled stall next to mine and attempted to use it with apparent great difficulty. Somewhat horrified, I finished, I washed my hands and got the hell out of there and didn't look back. Time to get the rental car.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Comcast Customer Service is the Worst of any Corporation in the World
It's been a long time since I've written here. It took a special kind of horrible to get me motivated to do so. What follows is the true, horrific story of two hours of my Saturday that I will never get back which were required to get back money Comcast otherwise would have stolen from me. If you have a choice, I strongly suggest you use another company. They're all terrible, but Comcast takes terrible to a whole new level. They are "The Room" of corporations.
A few months back we decided to upgrade our DVR to the Comcast X1. The standard HD DVR that they give you is the worst DVR we've ever seen. The menu and interface look like something out of War Games (that's an 80s movies for you young-ins). Just horrendous. We couldn't deal with it anymore. When we got the X1 we were excited. It looked and operated much better and was actually usable. Our excitement lasted about three days. At that point, it stopped functioning in any rational way. It was impossible to set up timers for any series at all and individual timers barely worked either. There were a number of other issues that I won't get into; suffice it to say, we were unhappy. We called Comcast and they promised to send out a technician to fix the problem. They never mentioned at any point that this service would cost any money.
A few days later a very nice independent contractor tech came out. After a lot of work he concluded that our box was defective and replaced it with another one. The new one's mostly worked well since then and we're more or less happy with it. Then came out bill, a few days ago.
The bill included a $50 charge for the tech's service call. This was upsetting, as not only had no charge been suggested, but the justification for one would be extremely weak. It was Comcast's crap equipment that barely lasted three days, after all. We had paid for the first installation. Comcast appeared to be saying we needed to pay AGAIN, less than a week later, to replace THEIR faulty equipment.
And so I set out to run the awful "Call Comcast" "customer service" gauntlet. There's no way to talk to anyone faster than 20 minutes, but fortunately, their phone system (after deluging you with several ads for programming) offers a 'call-back.' Put in your number and they'll call you back when its your turn. No waiting. Sounds great. It's not completely true, of course. I got the call-back and then had to wait in line another 5 minutes. A little weird, but not the end of the world.
When I finally got to a person, the rep explained that there was no way that he could take the charge off. He first mentioned that I could sign up for their 'customer protection plan.' Pay a monthly fee and the fee if someone has to come out to fix Comcast's garbage equipment is free! What a DEAL! No thanks. (They had previously tried this scam on me when the cable modem they gave me wouldn't work with my work's VPN. They refused to even TRY to help me since I only have 'basic service' which amounts to - have you tried turning it on or off again? Anything more complicated costs $15 a month. Scam.)
He then offered to compensate me by giving me a free premium channel. Since I can't watch the channels I do have, this wasn't acceptable to me. I suggested that he take off the charge for HBO, a channel I already have. He said this would work and would save me $30. He then offered to give me free 'blast' service for 3 months, which would upgrade my internet from 2nd tier to 1st tier in speed. I don't really need this, but he said it'd save another $30. Not completely satisfied, but at least feeling I was getting my money's worth, I agreed. Come to find out that because of my existing promotion with HBO, the 'savings' would be off full price. Without getting too into it, I'd get approximately no benefit. At this point, I asked to be transferred to a supervisor. This is where the fun really began.
Once I got put on hold - again, I realized that this genius's 'upgrading' of my internet had completely knocked out my internet. I reset my modem 3 times to no avail. I had been working from home and had quite a bit to still do, so this was a big issue for me. So now I'm stuck on hold waiting to talk to billing with no internet - and guess what, 25 minutes go by. Really! I was 'transferred to a supervisor' and had to wait ANOTHER 25 minutes. This was too much, I couldn't afford to wait for Internet service. So I gave up, hung up, and called tech support. This experience wasn't terrible. The woman was able to get my Internet working again. I asked her to send me back to billing. She transferred me to the 'so you're moving' line. Not helpful.
So I got call-back service again, waited another 5 minutes to actually talk to a person after the call-back and then asked to be transferred to a supervisor. This time I asked if the 20 minute wait was avoidable, after all, why couldn't the supervisor call me back? The rep put me on hold for a few minutes to find out. She then came back with the most convoluted response I've ever heard. The easiest thing to do would have been to say 'no, we can't do that.' Instead, she launched into a two minute explanation that can be summed up as: they can only call you back if you are already talking to them and you have to go. Great. So I have to wait the 20-25 minutes to talk to them to get them to call me back. In other words, NO THEY CAN'T. Sigh.
About 35 minutes go by. Finally I get Hector, the supervisor on the line. By this point, I am fuming. I tell him that I appreciate that I finally got to him after my two-hour adventure. I then explain the situation and get some weak explanation about them crediting the account only if the tech guy had not been at the house for very long etc. This guy had been here awhile and done a lot of work. Great, I responded, I have no problem with the tech guy being paid, he did a good job. COMCAST should pay him to replace their garbage equipment, not me. That's the issue. At this point, Hector finally cracked a little bit. "I can give you $25 back. But that's the best I can do."
Not. Acceptable. I tore into him for five minutes about the horrible service and seeking an explanation for why I should pay *ANYTHING* for their poor equipment. Finally, he came back with..."I can give you $40 back. But that's it."
So now this guy is negotiating with me. After two hours of being on the phone waiting for a person who could do anything, dealing with an internet power outage caused by Comcast's idiocy, being transferred to the wrong department, and various other absurdities, the supervisor is trying to nickel and dime me - out of $10. "This'll satisfy him" he probably thought "and that $10 savings will make the bosses give me another look for that promotion!" Sorry, Hector, this is not your day. I did not go through two hours of utter bullshit to pay YOU $10 for YOUR garbage equipment. Are you going to compensate me for the two hours of my Saturday that I lost waiting to talk to a person? No? Then give me ALL my money back.
Hector finally relented, but gave me a half-ass lecture about how this was a one-time thing blah blah blah like he had done me some huge favor. I finished by telling him he needed to instruct his staff to TELL PEOPLE WHEN THEY WOULD BE CHARGED. Shocking advice that he said they would take as feedback. Somehow, I doubt that happened.
ALL this because:
1) The first HD-DVR they gave me was a pile of crap. Just the worst thing I've ever seen. Even Comcast's rep, when I ordered the X1 agreed with this assessment.
2) The X1 they sent originally WAS DEFECTIVE. So two straight horrible products from Comcast. Thanks guys.
3) Pass the charges onto the customer! Comcast gives you bad equipment, then charges you to fix bad equipment, then tries to get you to subscribe to a service plan for even more money to - wait for it - fix their garbage equipment.
If that isn't a scam, I don't know what is. Adam Smith would be using his invisible hand to smack these jerks in the face from the grave were he not as dead as Comcast's commitment to their customers.
Do yourself a favor - if you have a choice - go with DirecTV or Dish or ANYONE else. As soon as I move somewhere else where this choice is available, I will dump these idiots like they were a less charming less intelligent Paula Deen.
A few months back we decided to upgrade our DVR to the Comcast X1. The standard HD DVR that they give you is the worst DVR we've ever seen. The menu and interface look like something out of War Games (that's an 80s movies for you young-ins). Just horrendous. We couldn't deal with it anymore. When we got the X1 we were excited. It looked and operated much better and was actually usable. Our excitement lasted about three days. At that point, it stopped functioning in any rational way. It was impossible to set up timers for any series at all and individual timers barely worked either. There were a number of other issues that I won't get into; suffice it to say, we were unhappy. We called Comcast and they promised to send out a technician to fix the problem. They never mentioned at any point that this service would cost any money.
A few days later a very nice independent contractor tech came out. After a lot of work he concluded that our box was defective and replaced it with another one. The new one's mostly worked well since then and we're more or less happy with it. Then came out bill, a few days ago.
The bill included a $50 charge for the tech's service call. This was upsetting, as not only had no charge been suggested, but the justification for one would be extremely weak. It was Comcast's crap equipment that barely lasted three days, after all. We had paid for the first installation. Comcast appeared to be saying we needed to pay AGAIN, less than a week later, to replace THEIR faulty equipment.
And so I set out to run the awful "Call Comcast" "customer service" gauntlet. There's no way to talk to anyone faster than 20 minutes, but fortunately, their phone system (after deluging you with several ads for programming) offers a 'call-back.' Put in your number and they'll call you back when its your turn. No waiting. Sounds great. It's not completely true, of course. I got the call-back and then had to wait in line another 5 minutes. A little weird, but not the end of the world.
When I finally got to a person, the rep explained that there was no way that he could take the charge off. He first mentioned that I could sign up for their 'customer protection plan.' Pay a monthly fee and the fee if someone has to come out to fix Comcast's garbage equipment is free! What a DEAL! No thanks. (They had previously tried this scam on me when the cable modem they gave me wouldn't work with my work's VPN. They refused to even TRY to help me since I only have 'basic service' which amounts to - have you tried turning it on or off again? Anything more complicated costs $15 a month. Scam.)
He then offered to compensate me by giving me a free premium channel. Since I can't watch the channels I do have, this wasn't acceptable to me. I suggested that he take off the charge for HBO, a channel I already have. He said this would work and would save me $30. He then offered to give me free 'blast' service for 3 months, which would upgrade my internet from 2nd tier to 1st tier in speed. I don't really need this, but he said it'd save another $30. Not completely satisfied, but at least feeling I was getting my money's worth, I agreed. Come to find out that because of my existing promotion with HBO, the 'savings' would be off full price. Without getting too into it, I'd get approximately no benefit. At this point, I asked to be transferred to a supervisor. This is where the fun really began.
Once I got put on hold - again, I realized that this genius's 'upgrading' of my internet had completely knocked out my internet. I reset my modem 3 times to no avail. I had been working from home and had quite a bit to still do, so this was a big issue for me. So now I'm stuck on hold waiting to talk to billing with no internet - and guess what, 25 minutes go by. Really! I was 'transferred to a supervisor' and had to wait ANOTHER 25 minutes. This was too much, I couldn't afford to wait for Internet service. So I gave up, hung up, and called tech support. This experience wasn't terrible. The woman was able to get my Internet working again. I asked her to send me back to billing. She transferred me to the 'so you're moving' line. Not helpful.
So I got call-back service again, waited another 5 minutes to actually talk to a person after the call-back and then asked to be transferred to a supervisor. This time I asked if the 20 minute wait was avoidable, after all, why couldn't the supervisor call me back? The rep put me on hold for a few minutes to find out. She then came back with the most convoluted response I've ever heard. The easiest thing to do would have been to say 'no, we can't do that.' Instead, she launched into a two minute explanation that can be summed up as: they can only call you back if you are already talking to them and you have to go. Great. So I have to wait the 20-25 minutes to talk to them to get them to call me back. In other words, NO THEY CAN'T. Sigh.
About 35 minutes go by. Finally I get Hector, the supervisor on the line. By this point, I am fuming. I tell him that I appreciate that I finally got to him after my two-hour adventure. I then explain the situation and get some weak explanation about them crediting the account only if the tech guy had not been at the house for very long etc. This guy had been here awhile and done a lot of work. Great, I responded, I have no problem with the tech guy being paid, he did a good job. COMCAST should pay him to replace their garbage equipment, not me. That's the issue. At this point, Hector finally cracked a little bit. "I can give you $25 back. But that's the best I can do."
Not. Acceptable. I tore into him for five minutes about the horrible service and seeking an explanation for why I should pay *ANYTHING* for their poor equipment. Finally, he came back with..."I can give you $40 back. But that's it."
So now this guy is negotiating with me. After two hours of being on the phone waiting for a person who could do anything, dealing with an internet power outage caused by Comcast's idiocy, being transferred to the wrong department, and various other absurdities, the supervisor is trying to nickel and dime me - out of $10. "This'll satisfy him" he probably thought "and that $10 savings will make the bosses give me another look for that promotion!" Sorry, Hector, this is not your day. I did not go through two hours of utter bullshit to pay YOU $10 for YOUR garbage equipment. Are you going to compensate me for the two hours of my Saturday that I lost waiting to talk to a person? No? Then give me ALL my money back.
Hector finally relented, but gave me a half-ass lecture about how this was a one-time thing blah blah blah like he had done me some huge favor. I finished by telling him he needed to instruct his staff to TELL PEOPLE WHEN THEY WOULD BE CHARGED. Shocking advice that he said they would take as feedback. Somehow, I doubt that happened.
ALL this because:
1) The first HD-DVR they gave me was a pile of crap. Just the worst thing I've ever seen. Even Comcast's rep, when I ordered the X1 agreed with this assessment.
2) The X1 they sent originally WAS DEFECTIVE. So two straight horrible products from Comcast. Thanks guys.
3) Pass the charges onto the customer! Comcast gives you bad equipment, then charges you to fix bad equipment, then tries to get you to subscribe to a service plan for even more money to - wait for it - fix their garbage equipment.
If that isn't a scam, I don't know what is. Adam Smith would be using his invisible hand to smack these jerks in the face from the grave were he not as dead as Comcast's commitment to their customers.
Do yourself a favor - if you have a choice - go with DirecTV or Dish or ANYONE else. As soon as I move somewhere else where this choice is available, I will dump these idiots like they were a less charming less intelligent Paula Deen.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Molly and son and son and son and son and daughter and daughter
Many months ago I wrote about an adorably sweet cat that would sit on our porch constantly. We called her "Outside Kitty." At the time I wrote the blog, that's all we thought she would ever be. Circumstances have changed and she now has a name: Molly. As we eventually learned, Molly was in heat for some time period that she was visiting us. Eventually she got pregnant, which became more and more obvious as the days went by. Molly is such a small, petite girl, that her ballooning up suddenly was especially noticeable.
Once Molly had her kittens, we began to become concerned about her and them. How safe were they on the outside? Molly had found a nice nest for them underneath the house next to us. We would regularly see her going in and out of a hole in the bottom of the house and Janessa told me she'd heard high pitched kitten mewing going on in there at least once. Janessa was worried she'd have to go get the kittens to get them somewhere safe before too long. Molly beat us to it, though.
We were in Reno at Janessa's grandparents' 65th wedding anniversary family get-together, when Janessa's cell phone went off. She excused herself, and when she came back let me know that Molly had move the kittens to our porch! The next door neighbor saw the situation and put the kittens in a box so they'd be contained. That she trusted us enough to do this was touching. Logistically, it posed some problems, but we were able to solve them. Janessa had built a small enclosure on the porch for our cats that they were accessing through a cat door. That became kitten central and has been that way for about the last month. Molly was so happy to have the kittens safe and to have the burden off of her she started to let us pet her and even put her on our laps. She is an incredibly gentle and sweet cat and it boggles our minds that someone could ever abandon her.
When I say Molly had kittens, I mean she had kittens. 6 to be exact. Which, I'm not going to lie, has been wonderful to look at every day. When I am doing the dishes and look out the window and see three kittens on a scratcher sleeping smooshed together or two chasing each other around hopping like rabbits, it's impossible not to smile. When I walk outside to check on them and six kittens rush the gate all at once, well, it's every bit as cute as you'd think and then some.
We've had to wait until now to start really trying to get the kittens adopted out, because until recently they were still breastfeeding. As much as we would love to keep them all, 3 cats is already insane, 9 impossible. If they stayed at this age forever, it'd be a different story. Fortunately, one of them finally got a home. We figured the runt would go first, and she did. She has an incredibly squished face which is irresistible. She also has tons of spunk and moxie. It was sad to see her go. Two more followed in the next week. Three remain; we're hoping to get them all good homes pretty quickly. It's much more difficult than you might imagine. All the animal rescues are full and there are tons of people trying to adopt out kittens. Spay and neuter, people, spay and neuter.
We thought Molly might have a home too, but it fell through. At this point, it's seeming less and less likely by the day. It's hard enough to find homes for insanely cute kittens, what chance does a 1 year old - even a super sweet one - really have? We certainly hope something comes up, but at the end of the day, it's looking more and more likely that Molly will be our 4th - and FINAL - cat. She's much too gentle and sweet to have to live outdoors. She deserves a real home. And heck, she adopted us months ago. I didn't know it could work like that, but apparently it does, as we're quite taken with her.
Once Molly had her kittens, we began to become concerned about her and them. How safe were they on the outside? Molly had found a nice nest for them underneath the house next to us. We would regularly see her going in and out of a hole in the bottom of the house and Janessa told me she'd heard high pitched kitten mewing going on in there at least once. Janessa was worried she'd have to go get the kittens to get them somewhere safe before too long. Molly beat us to it, though.
We were in Reno at Janessa's grandparents' 65th wedding anniversary family get-together, when Janessa's cell phone went off. She excused herself, and when she came back let me know that Molly had move the kittens to our porch! The next door neighbor saw the situation and put the kittens in a box so they'd be contained. That she trusted us enough to do this was touching. Logistically, it posed some problems, but we were able to solve them. Janessa had built a small enclosure on the porch for our cats that they were accessing through a cat door. That became kitten central and has been that way for about the last month. Molly was so happy to have the kittens safe and to have the burden off of her she started to let us pet her and even put her on our laps. She is an incredibly gentle and sweet cat and it boggles our minds that someone could ever abandon her.
When I say Molly had kittens, I mean she had kittens. 6 to be exact. Which, I'm not going to lie, has been wonderful to look at every day. When I am doing the dishes and look out the window and see three kittens on a scratcher sleeping smooshed together or two chasing each other around hopping like rabbits, it's impossible not to smile. When I walk outside to check on them and six kittens rush the gate all at once, well, it's every bit as cute as you'd think and then some.
We've had to wait until now to start really trying to get the kittens adopted out, because until recently they were still breastfeeding. As much as we would love to keep them all, 3 cats is already insane, 9 impossible. If they stayed at this age forever, it'd be a different story. Fortunately, one of them finally got a home. We figured the runt would go first, and she did. She has an incredibly squished face which is irresistible. She also has tons of spunk and moxie. It was sad to see her go. Two more followed in the next week. Three remain; we're hoping to get them all good homes pretty quickly. It's much more difficult than you might imagine. All the animal rescues are full and there are tons of people trying to adopt out kittens. Spay and neuter, people, spay and neuter.
We thought Molly might have a home too, but it fell through. At this point, it's seeming less and less likely by the day. It's hard enough to find homes for insanely cute kittens, what chance does a 1 year old - even a super sweet one - really have? We certainly hope something comes up, but at the end of the day, it's looking more and more likely that Molly will be our 4th - and FINAL - cat. She's much too gentle and sweet to have to live outdoors. She deserves a real home. And heck, she adopted us months ago. I didn't know it could work like that, but apparently it does, as we're quite taken with her.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
A trip to the moon
On Saturday night, the wife and I went to see a screening of the color restoration of Georges Melies' "A Trip to the Moon" - a 109-year old picture of which no surviving color prints existed, until one was miraculously discovered in 2000. Restoration - both because of its complexity and because of a lack of adequate technology - took over ten years. But it was worth it! Like many people, I had become aware of Melies primarily from watching "Hugo." That film, as good as it was, though, did not adequately recapture the magic that we saw on the screen Saturday night.
Melies' style is fantastical and magical. Melies made no attempt to represent reality, but was more of a stage magician and artist. His sensibility was wildly imaginative and evocative. The energy in the film is manic and contagious. The film was inspired by Jules Verne's novel "From the Earth to the Moon," and captures a group of astronomers planning and executing a rocket ship trip to the moon - ultimately landing in the eye of the moon's face - in one of the most famous images in film history. The scientists encounter hostile life on the Moon and are ultimately forced to escape back to their capsule and return to earth, where the capsule parachutes into the ocean where the scientists are rescued.
I strongly recommend checking out this film, as well as Melies' work in general. A dvd of the colorized version of the film, together with the fantastic new soundtrack by AIR and a documentary on the film and the restoration process are available now at http://www.flickeralley.com/
Melies' style is fantastical and magical. Melies made no attempt to represent reality, but was more of a stage magician and artist. His sensibility was wildly imaginative and evocative. The energy in the film is manic and contagious. The film was inspired by Jules Verne's novel "From the Earth to the Moon," and captures a group of astronomers planning and executing a rocket ship trip to the moon - ultimately landing in the eye of the moon's face - in one of the most famous images in film history. The scientists encounter hostile life on the Moon and are ultimately forced to escape back to their capsule and return to earth, where the capsule parachutes into the ocean where the scientists are rescued.
I strongly recommend checking out this film, as well as Melies' work in general. A dvd of the colorized version of the film, together with the fantastic new soundtrack by AIR and a documentary on the film and the restoration process are available now at http://www.flickeralley.com/
Thursday, February 9, 2012
How Much is that Kitty in the Window?
Monday Night we got a visitor to our patio. Specifically, a black and white cat. This isn’t uncommon for us. Our neighborhood has many stray cats wandering around; several of our neighbors allow their cats outdoors. This one planted itself on the mat outside our living room. We have no shade, so outside kitty could just stare in at us and our cats – and it did.
As expected, our cats were interested in this stranger. The outside cat was extremely friendly. It repeatedly tried to play with our cats through the glass, flopping and showing its belly whenever they got close. Later, when we played with Louis with a laser, it saw the laser and went after it. Outside kiddy is adorable.
We didn’t give outside kitty too much thought until the following morning, when we found it in the same spot it had been in the night before. We wondered if it had been there all night. Did it have an owner and was lost, or was it simply abandoned? Outside kitty looked well taken care of, not skinny, with fluffy fur and a positive disposition. No collar though.
Or maybe outside kitty just really liked us. Janessa guessed the kitty was a girl and that she was there because she had fallen for Louis. Outside kitty seemed to get especially excited with Louis paid it attention. Whenever we went out and tried to approach outside kitty though, it was skittish. Through the glass it didn’t mind us, but up close, it ran away. Still it persisted in its spot, trying to get our cats to play with it whenever it had the chance.
Outside kitty was there the next morning. And the next evening. We had no way to know if it had been there all day or had gone somewhere to eat or sleep or anything else. We were getting a little concerned. Was this cat stubbornly waiting us out?
We certainly couldn’t let it in. Our household was still adjusting to Francis, our kitten, and Francis himself was still recovering from being neutered on Tuesday. We couldn’t seriously consider adding another cat to the household.
This continued and, as far as I know, is still going on. Every once in a while, outside kitty vanishes for half an hour or so but then returns as if it had never left. We hope it is going somewhere and eating. We can’t put food out for it – both because it’d never leave and because it’d attract other strays and wild animals – but it doesn’t seem as though outside kitty is going hungry. Still, we’re at a loss how to proceed. We resorted to google to try to figure out what was going on. All we learned was that some outside cats hang around a house if they think the owner is “neat.” Thank god outside kitty hasn’t seen my studio!
So here we are. Each time outside kitty has disappeared part of me has been relieved and another part has hoped it would reappear. Assuming outside kitty stays around even longer, our only plan right now is to try to see if it has an owner. If not, I guess we’ll try to find it a good home. One thing’s for sure, it’s extremely stubborn. It’s as though outside kitty has decided it will adopt us, come hell or high water, and it is holding a vigil on our porch-step until we come to our senses. It’s a sweet, adorable cat and I really hope it has – or finds – a loving home.
As expected, our cats were interested in this stranger. The outside cat was extremely friendly. It repeatedly tried to play with our cats through the glass, flopping and showing its belly whenever they got close. Later, when we played with Louis with a laser, it saw the laser and went after it. Outside kiddy is adorable.
We didn’t give outside kitty too much thought until the following morning, when we found it in the same spot it had been in the night before. We wondered if it had been there all night. Did it have an owner and was lost, or was it simply abandoned? Outside kitty looked well taken care of, not skinny, with fluffy fur and a positive disposition. No collar though.
Or maybe outside kitty just really liked us. Janessa guessed the kitty was a girl and that she was there because she had fallen for Louis. Outside kitty seemed to get especially excited with Louis paid it attention. Whenever we went out and tried to approach outside kitty though, it was skittish. Through the glass it didn’t mind us, but up close, it ran away. Still it persisted in its spot, trying to get our cats to play with it whenever it had the chance.
Outside kitty was there the next morning. And the next evening. We had no way to know if it had been there all day or had gone somewhere to eat or sleep or anything else. We were getting a little concerned. Was this cat stubbornly waiting us out?
We certainly couldn’t let it in. Our household was still adjusting to Francis, our kitten, and Francis himself was still recovering from being neutered on Tuesday. We couldn’t seriously consider adding another cat to the household.
This continued and, as far as I know, is still going on. Every once in a while, outside kitty vanishes for half an hour or so but then returns as if it had never left. We hope it is going somewhere and eating. We can’t put food out for it – both because it’d never leave and because it’d attract other strays and wild animals – but it doesn’t seem as though outside kitty is going hungry. Still, we’re at a loss how to proceed. We resorted to google to try to figure out what was going on. All we learned was that some outside cats hang around a house if they think the owner is “neat.” Thank god outside kitty hasn’t seen my studio!
So here we are. Each time outside kitty has disappeared part of me has been relieved and another part has hoped it would reappear. Assuming outside kitty stays around even longer, our only plan right now is to try to see if it has an owner. If not, I guess we’ll try to find it a good home. One thing’s for sure, it’s extremely stubborn. It’s as though outside kitty has decided it will adopt us, come hell or high water, and it is holding a vigil on our porch-step until we come to our senses. It’s a sweet, adorable cat and I really hope it has – or finds – a loving home.
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