In July, I got engaged. Now this is a wonderful thing, and I'm very happy and excited. We are in the process of planning a wedding for next July.
The thing is, I'm still used to calling Janessa my "girlfriend." I frequently have to correct myself and call her my "fiancée." But this strikes me as a strange word to describe our relationship. I invariably find myself using a Pepe le Pew voice and making a mockery of the whole situation. I know french is the language of love, but I speak AMERICAN, shouldn't there be a better way to say this? Something like "Freeancée?"
The other option I was tinkering around with was "bethroed." But this is even worse. Getting "bethrothed" sounds like something two goth kids would do at the Medieval Fair while playing a spirited game of Dungeons & Douchebags.
Even worse the 'toth' sounds pretty weird. I can easily imagine myself saying to my doctor, "I'm not feeling so good, I've been puking all day...I think I' m getting bethrothed." Like, is there a cream for that, or what?
So I've been brainstorming options and doing a little bit of google research, here's some of the ideas that have turned up:
Bride-to-Be/Wife-to-Be
This strikes me as incredibly obvious but pretty awkward. They are technically one word because of the hyphens, but try saying the hyphens out loud - doesn't work so well, does it?
Besides, something about these terms says "trainee" to me. I really don't want to describe Janessa as my "marriage trainee."
Prospective Wife/Spouse
This, if anything, is worse. Prospective? What am I, a 49er in the 19th Century? Do I hope I will find my true love buried under rocks? Pass.
Future Wife
A little better, but still not quite right. I can't escape the feeling that I'm describing some sort of science fiction event here...like I have my past wife, my present wife, and my future wife, and if they ever meet there's going to be some kind of awful fight with potentially grave consequences for the space/time continuum
Prewife
I love this one principally because it sounds like another funny word: Precum.
Uh oh, I think I got some prewife on you, are you ok honey? Do you need a towel?
Old Lady
Does this really mean 'engaged'? I always thought it meant your spouse, but dictionary.com lists it as a synonym for engaged. I could never get used to saying this because I'd feel like I was living in 1972, had a huge beard and bathed only on holidays...thanks, moving on...
Intended
This is nicer and a bit more poetic, but still very old-fashioned and a little clunky. I don't have any sarcastic comments about this one, I just can't imagine ever using it in conversation without sounding like a giant douchebag.
So now I'm thinking I'll just call her my wife now and be done with it. Any better ideas?
Rob
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5 comments:
Yes. Elope!! :)
-T.Jay
As a woman, once you have the ring, you don't want to be called "girlfriend" anymore because your status has been elevated, but you don't want to be called wife yet because you don't want to jink it. So, maybe -- I seriously cannot believe I'm saying this --- maybe you should take Tjay's advice. :-) (just joking).
If it were up to me(!!)
The more I think about it though, the more I'm leaning toward "Freeancee" for the freedom fries angle..
Rob- I know exactly what you mean. I felt totally weird every time I would have to refer to T.Jay as the f-word. It's just so awkward and French, and invariably makes me think of Holly Hunter's famous line in "Raising Arizona" so what can you do... I personally like the spanish translation, "mi prometida." Sounds so much more romantic. Or maybe there is a Yiddish equivalent that sounds decent?
..lots of people tend to refer to me with an f-word. :)
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